Anger is a hardcore emotion. It usually starts with frustration or disappointment, which is normal. When someone crosses me, I go into attack mode. I can go from irritated to rage in 2.5 seconds. It can feel intoxicating from the adrenaline rush, and anger is not a bad emotion; it just depends on how you handle it. I’ve had some really scary thoughts when I’ve been angry like keying someone’s car or wanting to burn their house down. I know it’s insane, but if I actually acted on those thoughts, I would not be handling my anger.
If you want to handle your anger, you have to recognize it and learn to express it appropriately. Not like an animal.
Suppressed or unexpressed anger can sometimes be the cause of anxiety and depression. If you don’t express anger, you can really screw up your relationships. Have you ever said something super hateful when you were angry? Or done something physical? Or both? Like screaming, you’re a fucking bitch and throwing a cell phone at that person’s face. Don’t worry. It had a case on it.
Outbursts like that are hard to walk back. People will remember. But people are also assholes and will throw it back in your face later on, so let’s not give them that pleasure.
RECOGNIZE YOUR ANGER
Anger does not have to be a problem. You can control your anger before the cell phone flies through the air, or the nasty words leave your mouth. Everyone has a particular reaction to anger, so listen to what your body is telling you and take the appropriate step to get your anger under control.
Start by recognizing your particular signs of anger. Emotionally you can feel irritated, resentful, or even anxious. Physical symptoms can be your heart beating faster or breathing a little quicker in preparation for whatever action your mind wants to take. Or you could have tension in your shoulders, grit your teeth, or clench of your fists.
Maybe you start pitting out in your favorite lady blouse. Whatever these signs are, be aware and realize them the next time they boil up. It’s your body warning you that you are about to lose your shit, so figure out what your signs are so you can calm your ass down!
CONTROL YOUR ANGER
The first thing I try to do is wait. I try to wait until I calm down. Wait and breathe. It allows you the time to think clearer and squashes the impulse to strike out at people around you or send that mean-ass email.
The goal is to chill out to allow a clearer perspective of what is happening around you.
Once you’ve learned to quickly identify your warning signs (that you’re about to flip out) and can calm yourself down by taking a break and breathing, you will be able to find other methods to control your anger before it causes you to react like a madwoman.
EXERCISE AND RELAX
Another thing that’s worked for me to lower stress levels and control anger is exercise and relaxation. I used to hate when people would suggest this, but I can’t lie; it helps. Run, walk, swim, meditate, pole dance, just do it. These activities can help you reduce stress. I think any exercise is one of the best ways to get rid of stress and anger.
Take the time to relax and make sure that you get enough sleep. I’m very good at relaxing. Massage, sleep, eat good food. Oh. Hell. Yes.
Try not to numb out with drugs, alcohol, or any stimulant that might create angry thoughts. Easy for me to say. Not easy for me to do. I love my wine and weed, but these stimulants lower your inhibitions, which we need to stop us from acting psycho when we get angry.
I’m sure you’ve heard someone described as a bad drunk. It’s not a good look. There’s always someone drunk and crying or drunk and angry. So if you get like that, try writing, listening to music, or whatever your thing is that can help you reduce stress and anxiety and keep yourself calm.
CHANGE YOUR THINKING
Most importantly, you have to change the way you think. Thoughts like ‘It’s not fair,’ or ‘Everyone is a fucking asshole,’ will perpetuate anger. This stinkin thinkin will keep you in that pissed off state of mind, and the constant negative thoughts can start to feel comfortable, but you do not want to live there.
And if none of this helps and you’re feeling enraged 24-7 definitely call your doctor.